Roll up, roll up, the circus is back in town. See Dolphin Boy (a man painted blue balancing a balloon on his nose, holding cardboard “waves”), Gold Man (a spray-painted keyboard player who loves the Spandau Ballet classic), Marawa, Queen of the Hula Hoops and Antonio Popeye who, amazingly, can make his eyes pop! Who says Britain’s Got No Talent?
Amanda Holden Is Now Head Judge
Week one saw the hopefuls take the stage in Birmingham, Cardiff and Liverpool, in a bid to impress the shiny new judging panel. Gone, alas, is Simon Cowell, although there was a shot of him at the start of the show, as if to reassure the masses that although he’s not there in person, he’s still in charge. From somewhere in America. But fear not, he will (allegedly) be back for the live shows.
His replacement? Comedian Michael McIntyre, who is far too nice to be nasty, but, knowing a good opportunity when he sees it, pretended to be the maestro himself when one confused contestant had no idea who either he or Amanda Holden were. Amanda looked less than pleased to be mistaken for Joanna Lunley, but Michael relished the chance to bark out a typical Simon line “Reality check! I didn’t like it (dramatic pause) I loved it!” Not enough, alas, to vote the poor woman through.
And farewell Piers Morgan, also off pursuing a Stateside career. His seat is now filled by ex-American’s Got Talent judge and Baywatch hunk, David Hasselhoff. The Hoff is certainly enthusiastic, and doubtless has been exposed to the same sort of “talent” in the States. Amanda even dubbed him the “resident Morris Dance expert”. The nation breathes a sigh of relief.
Can The Show Survive Without Simon Cowell?
The panel may have been revamped, but the format is still same old, same old – a steady stream of the sad and deluded to provide the laughs, singers who can’t face the cattle-call X Factor auditions, more dance acts than you can shake a stick at, and the now obligatory search for this year’s Susan Boyle.
Step forward Michael Collings, resplendent in “sherbet leisurewear” and a thoroughly nice ordinary bloke. His rendition of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” had the audience on their feet and sure enough, the first words out of Amanda’s mouth were “I don’t know what I expected from you, but I didn’t expect much”. With over a million hits on YouTube already, the producers must be positively salivating with glee.
But the evening surely belonged to the act who had an uphill battle to win over the audience, and did it in style – handbell ringers Gay and Alan. No flashy costumes, no professional hair and make-up, just a love of making music together. Their version of the “Titanic” theme has the audience swaying and singing along, and a standing ovation soon followed.
With the almighty fuss that followed the discovery of Susan Boyle, the makers of Britain’s Got Talent (Saturdays, 8pm, ITV1) seem to have forgotten the show is NOT about finding the next big thing to make a whole lot of cash for Simon Cowell.
The prize is an appearance on the Royal Variety Show and £100,000, and it should be given to a genuine variety act, not yet another singer or dance group (there are plenty of other reality shows for them to appear on). Fingers crossed this public will once again ignore the hype and go with an act which otherwise would not get their moment in the spotlight, as they did with last year’s winners, gymnasts Spelbound.
Arlene Kelly - Born and raised in a small prairie town, by the time I graduated high school I decided I’d had enough of Manitoba winters and headed ...
Join the Conversation