And lo, a miracle has occurred on reality television – the 2010 winner of Britain’s Got Talent is NOT a singer or a dance act, but an acrobatic gymnastics group who seemingly came from nowhere, but of course have been training together for years
Without a Susan Boyle to dominate the headlines, there was no clear favourite in the final 10. 81-year-old Scottish great-grandmother Janey Cutler was the nearest thing to a “SuBo” the programme could offer. Most acts of a certain age get a polite round of applause at auditions (mostly to acknowledge the fact they’re still standing) then are ushered off quickly. But wonder of wonders, the lady could actually still belt out a tune, and YouTube fame beckoned once again.
Kieran Gaffney, The Little Drummer Boy
In the “cute kids” line-up were 14-year-old Liam McNally, the pure-voiced boy soprano, and Kieran Gaffney, a drummer who had auditioned before but failed to make it through to the final. Cue the usual “you’ve come back stronger than ever, never give up on your dream” from the judges. Official Voice of Doom Simon Cowell was quick to point out Liam’s voice might break between now and the Royal Variety Performance – think how embarrassing that might be! For Simon, that is.
Surprisingly as an alleged lover of dog acts, Cowell also did his best to ruin the chances of Tina Humphreys and her extremely impressive pooch Chandi. After yet another performance which brought the house down, all Simon had to say was how old and tired Chandi was looking, and perhaps this show would be a good way for her to bow out gracefully. Would you have dared voice such blatant ageism for Janey Cutler, Simon?
The only other genuine variety act, impressionist Paul Burling, came up with another quick-fire blast of famous faces, from Little Britain to Billy Connolly. Just missing a place in the semi-finals of 2007, Burling has obviously updated his routines, but it seems the public were looking elsewhere for their winner.
Singing accountant Christopher Stone had overcome his nerves from previous rounds, but lacked the “wow” factor of both Susan Boyle and Paul Potts. Boy band Connected had been given a full makeover (no, their mums didn’t choose their outfits this time), but still sounded like what they are – a pre-teen version of Westlife.
Twist and Pulse, Purveyors of ‘Streetomedy’
And so to the inevitable dancers. With George Sampson and Diversity winning the competition in previous years, it was doubtful anyone in this category would triumph again, but Twist and Pulse and Tobias Mead gave it their best shot. Both managed to stand out from the seemingly endless parade of identikit street dancers, but enough is enough. Could somebody please tell the producers that Britain’s Got Talent is not a dumping ground for dancers who are ineligible to compete on the X Factor?
For sheer spectacle and technique, Spelbound were in a league of their own. Was it fair to pit professional athletes against amateur performers? There’s no denying the talent of the group, and perhaps the £100,000 prize will be a much-needed boost to cover their training and travel costs.
Despite the worthy winners, one wonders how much longer Britain’s Got Talent can survive using the same tired formula of endless singers and dancers, a shedload of embarrassing no-hopers, and just a handful of truly talented, unique acts. On the plus side, it’s hard to see how Simon Cowell will be making any money out of an acrobatics troupe, which can’t be a bad thing.
Arlene Kelly - Born and raised in a small prairie town, by the time I graduated high school I decided I’d had enough of Manitoba winters and headed ...
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